I feel like I want to talk about how I'm feeling about this month, but I can't because this blog is public. I guess that is dumb. I just don't know what to do about having a Halloween Party because I have had one every year forever and it really means a lot to me- I feel the way about Halloween that a lot of people do about Christmas. I don't really like Christmas as the holiday itself- of course I love celebrating the birth of Christ, but to me I feel like Christmas everywhere is not like that and it is impossible to escape. Also, I hate traveling- I hate it more than hot dogs, which if you know me, is saying quite a lot. Traveling became even worse, if possible, when taking a baby and now a toddler with us- the CRAP that you have to take and plan to take and get through the airport in addition to the screaming and more screaming is just too much for me. Anyways...Halloween is so awesome because there is no traveling, no cleaning for company, no presents to make, wrap, worry about (another part of Christmas that is stressful) and you get to dress up- which I LOVE- and eat candy and watch scary movies- it is just the best holiday ever. My problem is that if I had a party this year, it would be very difficult because some of those "Christmas" things are happening. On the one hand- it would be soo much work for me, very stressful, hard to get things perfect afterward, and I haven't done anything to prepare, which I normally do like 2 months in advance ( we knew about the circumstances, so I didn't do anything trying to figure out what to do). On the other hand I feel like if I don't have one, I will be really sad and regret that I didn't. Also, it is hard for me to feel like something is being taken away from me. I know this is not very clear- sorry. I guess I'm just feeling like I can't stop going over this in my mind- over and over and over! I just don't know.